Divorce
Background Information & Activities

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BrainPOP Jr. receives many e-mails from children asking about divorce. Many children have families or know families that have gone through divorces. We hope that the Divorce movie will help address children's concerns and clear up any misconceptions about divorce. Explain to children that all families change over time. Some families move to new homes or cities. Other families change with the birth or adoption of a new child or when extended family members move in with them. Help your children understand that changes are normal and should be expected, but that not all changes are easy.

A couple that fights and cannot resolve their problems may decide to divorce each other. A divorce is a legal end to a marriage and the parties involved are allowed to marry other people. After a divorce, a couple will separate and may move to different homes or even cities or states. Many children have divorced parents or know people with divorced parents. Explain that divorces are never easy decisions, but may be the best solution. The parents may fight less and be a lot happier. Help your children understand that when parents divorce each other, they do not divorce their children. Parents love and care for their children no matter what, even if they do not live under the same roof.

Some children believe that divorces are their fault. They may think that getting bad grades or misbehaving led to their parents’ divorce. Remind children that divorce is never a child’s fault. Most couples work hard to resolve their difficulties and may even talk to a counselor, therapist, or other people specially trained to help people with their challenges. Still, divorce is sometimes the best solution. Also help your children understand that divorces cannot be prevented. Even if children get good grades and behave perfectly at home and at school, parents may still get divorced.

After a divorce, a parent may remarry. A stepmother or stepfather is somebody a man or woman marries after a divorce or death of a spouse. Some stepmothers and stepfathers have children from a previous marriage. These children are stepbrothers and stepsisters to the child. Because divorces cause big changes in families, some children may misbehave and act out against their new families. Help children understand that feeling angry, confused, or sad is normal and they can find ways to cope with their feelings and resolve problems.

Divorces can be tough emotionally for families and strain relationships both inside and outside the home. Children can discuss and share their feelings with close friends and family members. They can also talk to teachers or school counselors. A counselor can give teachers techniques to help a child through difficulties while he or she is at school. However, this can only be done with written permission due to confidentiality issues. Both parents and children should be honest about their feelings with each other. If one parent behaves in a way that makes the child sad, angry, or scared, the child should communicate the problem. If no one knows about a problem, then he or she cannot help. Most of the time, just talking about a problem can make a child feel better. In addition, writing in a diary or drawing can help a child cope with a problem. We recommend watching the Writing About Yourself movie together as a review. Exercise, such as walking or riding bikes, can help get a child to release anger and stress.

There are a few basic strategies you can use when talking to a child about a difficult topic. Be a good listener and allow the child to complete his or her thoughts. Talk to the child at eye level. Always acknowledge the child's feelings and communicate that no feelings are wrong. Try to make suggestions that coincide with their interests and are reasonable, attainable, and within their abilities.

Children who have friends going through divorces can offer their support and their ears. Listening to a friend and giving hugs are easy ways for friends to help each other through tough times. Encourage your children to reach out to friends or classmates who are feeling sad or angry. Just knowing that friends are there for support can make someone feel better.

Divorce Teacher Activities – Click Here!

Divorce Family Activities – Click Here!

Divorce Teacher Activities

© 1999-2010 BrainPOP. All rights reserved.

Friendship Pact

Explain to children that a pact is a promise you agree to keep with someone. Have your students write a pact with a friend. What is a promise you can keep forever to a friend? Brainstorm different promises with your students. For example, a friend may promise to always listen to another friend’s problems, or cheer a friend up when he or she feels sad. Have students write their ideas and promises together. Then have each child sign the pact. You may wish to keep the pacts a secret between the friends or have volunteers share their pacts with the class.

Anger Management

Explain to your students that anger is a normal emotion and there are ways to release anger to feel better. Hold an open discussion with the class and have volunteers talk about a time when they were angry. What happened? Why were they angry? What did they do to make themselves feel better? Then brainstorm different ways people can deal with anger, such as exercising, singing loudly, or taking a deep breath and counting to ten. People can close their eyes and think of a calming image or think of a funny joke or moment in their lives. You may wish to post a list of anger management strategies in the class so students can refer to them when needed.

Divorce Family Activities

© 1999-2010 BrainPOP. All rights reserved.

Changes

Remind your child that families change constantly. How did your family change? Did a family member or pet pass away? Was there a new addition to the family? Did your family move to a new home? Create a timeline with your child of all the major changes that occurred in your family. Then as your family continues to change, add events to the timeline together.

Stop, Talk, and Listen

Sometimes people do not know when they have angered or hurt someone’s feelings. Discuss with your child the importance of being open and honest about his or her feelings. Communication is an important part of healthy relationships. Together with your child, come up with a phrase such as “stop, talk, and listen” that you can use whenever a situation is becoming emotionally intense. Agree that whenever anyone uses the phrase, you will have an open and honest conversation and discuss the problem without judgment or raising your voices.

Creative Outlet

If your family is going through a divorce, a helpful way to help your child through the process is to have open, honest conversations and provide creative outlets. Together, create a book about divorce and write thoughts, ideas, and feelings you may have. Your child can draw pictures to help describe his or her emotions, write a story, or create a puppet show.